


Administrative Research Internal Memo

by kotoshin



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Gen, Humor, Mission Reports, Reno needs to be a warning tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-28 04:57:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20058388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kotoshin/pseuds/kotoshin
Summary: Veld leaves Tseng a list before his retirement as Department Head of Administrative Research.





	Administrative Research Internal Memo

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gwynne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gwynne/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Mission Reports](https://archiveofourown.org/works/349261) by [Gwynne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gwynne/pseuds/Gwynne). 

▶︎ To: Tseng, Assistant Director of Administrator Research

▶︎ From: Veld, Director of Administrative Research

▶︎ Date: [ ν ] - εγλ 0003 May 1st

▶︎ Subject: Ensuring a Smooth Transition

Might as well make it formal now that the fiscal year is done. I'm going to be working in the field for the remainder of the year; and plan to be taking a step back as Department Consultant only. The paperwork has already been filed, but at the rate of red tape this time of year you'll probably not get the promotion notice until December. The pay raise and office change should happen sometime Mid-May, no idea when you'll actually get the new nameplate.

The following are notes from my predecessor with some additions of my own based on our current roster - it will make your life easier when reading field reports. Your work has always been precise and immaculate, but MOST of our coworkers and subordinates' aren't. 

Quick Translation to Turk Field Reports:

"In keeping with mission objectives" = They actually followed orders. At least for a while. If it's Reno, at least for that paragraph.

"Seeking supplemental intel" = They didn't trust the mission briefing. May or may NOT be laudable depending on current office politics. Mark the report writer down for taking initiative unless it's Reno - if it's Reno, check his meal voucher reimbursement claims.

"Deviating slightly from mission objectives" = They. Changed. The. Whole. Mission.

"Broadening current mission parameters" = They did something extra that still got the job done. If it's Reno, CHECK FOR FALLOUT.

"Given new leads" = They found a good excuse to do whatever the Hel it is they did next. Check for BS if it's Reno.

"Pre-emptive strike" = Somebody got trigger happy. 

"To maintain my cover identity" = If written by a female Turk, check receipts and any additions to the shared fashion wardrobe for undercover missions. If written by a male Turk, check receipts, and any additions to the Turk weapons or misc. gear storage lockers. CHECK EVERYTHING if it was written by Reno.

"... ground condition were not as stated in mission briefing." = Situation normal.

" … under heavy fire." = Again, normal mission conditions.

"... forced to improvise..." = They did something brilliant, dangerous, and probably outside the sanity of any civilized person. If Reno, only ask for details if it relates to budget justification. Because it makes more work and adds at minimum a Chapter on new code violations to the next print run of ShinRa Safety Regulations and Protocol Handbook.

"Modified Weaponry" = As long as it did not result in a seven figure repair bill or involve Scarlet, you're better off not asking.

"Maintained Status Quo" = There was force applied either by charms of personality, strength of arms, or outright blackmail. As long as the job is done, it doesn't matter which it was.

"Fierce resistance" = If Them, they threw everything in their arsenal plus the kitchen sink at the Turks. If Turks, they crushed the opposition.

"Neutralized hostiles" = Killed them all. Or recruited them all (see personnel file: Legend). Or shipped them all off into the Professor's custody (See classified file: Nibelheim Incident). Or convinced them to go rogue after fraternization (see personnel file: Rude). Again, it doesn't matter which as long as the job is done. 

"Minor Inconvenience" = anything from a bumpy helicopter ride to three months in a laboratory. Ask only for details if you need to justify the budget or leave time taken.

"In accordance with the highest ideals for our organization" = They found something Big that was Not on ShinRa company books. Confirm with the President first just in case it's Officially Offbook Business. Make sure all personnel assigned except Turks have signed NDAs. Perform exit interviews if necessary.

"A positive outcome" = They had fun doing the job. If Reno, he probably did most of it by accident.

"Exceedingly successful mission conclusion" = They did EVERYTHING the job required and then Some. Again, depending on current office politics climate, may mean freeing up a large chunk of the current year's budget. Prepare for more work, both papers processing and the standard Administrative Research Department processing. If Reno, he got to blow up everything he wanted to in the mission.

"Acceptable losses and collateral property damage" = A five figure replacement bill, including funeral expenses and employee benefits. Par the course.

"Slightly higher than projected" = A seven, eight, or nine figure bill that may exceed the current department budget. 

"Costly exercise" = A nine figure bill, but one the President will authorize. Make sure all claims are submitted outside of Administrative Research department budget. Usually involves erasing named locations permanently off the map. (See classified files: Banora, Modeoheim) Sometimes erasing the erasure. (See classified file: Nibelheim Incident) 

"Report in person" = Delaying the ACTUAL report as long as possible while trying to come up with a positive spin. If RENO, have aspirin at hand when he comes in.

**Author's Note:**

> VERY much silly-filing-off-the-serial-numbers-black-humor-adaptation for FFVII verse. :D
> 
> Not a part of the [Paved with Good Intentions](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1476686) Series Continuity - as Veld's predecessor, the Commissioner would have had a LOT of remedial Turk training suggestions attached to the translation key.


End file.
